Friends.
one of the neverending topics of all time.

sometimes when you sit alone and started to think, 'which are the ones who you could really be assured that they will be there every single time, for both the joy and sadness?' there surely won't be a specific answer or any sensible thoughts that you could at least, rely on just so you know you'll never be left under the rain. people change, even myself.. and you, her, him and everyone. yes, nobody is perfect. we do make mistakes, and there must be the times when you need just one person to point them out for you. they are the ones who have your well-being in their hearts. it's either we accept it and try to mend our ways or, just push them away and stay ignorant.

at these teenage years, we seem to be spending more time with friends than our family. partly because of school, the long hours of cca and so on. to me, friends really are one of the most important people who have made some great impacts in one's life in several ways and become the good old memories that you won't ever forget as you look back through the years. but, conflicts just won't leave us alone. through countless obstacles and tests we have to face without a choice, some may just go without making any effort while the true ones keep on fighting for their rights and never gave up on their friendships.
'
yes, i have been in both situation. the few who can't be bothered and only think of their own feelings. the one who have been there right from the start was always someone who i called, my bestfriend. fights and misunderstandings, it's always there. she could be the one who understands me the most and also, made me have the thought that we really never knew each other that well to be such closefriends. you know, life is really unpredictable. you'll be smiling all the minutes of the day today and the next day, you're crying your eyes out over something you never knew was coming to ruin your day.

i've been trying soo hard to imagine something might have occurred if things just don't go how i wanted it to be. just so i could stop myself from being unreasonable and starts pointing fingers at everyone. 'treat others as how you want to be treated', that phrase is stucked to my head every second since i can remember. but, i'm not convinced these words are true. trying to treat everyone right and be there for some people, but what did i get? sometimes i wonder. seriously, i'm not saying any names. everything have it's limits and others would only remember the bad side of you but never appreciates any good deeds you have done.

we can't change friends as how we like them to be. even my bestfriend who i've always been close with and the one who i could talk to for hours and hours about only one particular thing, i can't change her. there must be those little things she have done that made me sometimes wana screaaaam at her and maybe i've made her frustrated when i kept asking her to go to school, for example. sometimes i could swear that i can kill her anytime when she didn't pick up my countless calls. but, things happen for a reason. like i've said, nobody's pefect.. and not even my bestfriend or yours. i could certainly turn to her whenever some things can't get off my mind even though she's one colok girl i've ever knew.

goodfriends are the ones you're not that close with but would be there for you anytime. i have several goodfriends whom i'm thankful for those advices and the time they spared everytime i need to talk. as for enemies, ha-ha. i just can wish that these type of 'friends' would stop creating trouble and stop their 'i'm the big one here, i'm the shit! anyone offend us, kene rembat!'. hahhh! i don't see any gains these people get except for their points of being left in the drains.

well, there's much more i wanted to say. i just can't find the right words to explain every single thing. i'm not mad at anyone, i'm not stating someone has been a bad friend either. i'm seeing this as a whole lot together and really have no intention to point fingers at just one person, as what you may think, besty. i'm not going to pester you to wake up every morning to study for your own future anymore. it's your choice.. but i just hope you could just see that i meant well as a friend, a goodfriend and a bestfriend to you.

ahhhhh it's so hard to say out everything lah. confusing!
and i didn't know that it's gona be this loooong.